Why was I so hesitant to launch the website that has been ready for weeks? Or procrastinate on writing and posting blogs? Both strategic imperatives have been on my radar for the past 90 days. What is the issue?
My internal monologue was the issue.
Often termed the inner voice, the internal monologue is a powerful tool at our disposal. It shapes our thoughts, influences our decisions, and ultimately determines our actions and impact on those around us. However, if left unchecked, it can also be our greatest obstacle. It was an obstacle for me in my case with the website and the blog posts. ☹
Not everyone experiences inner dialogue.
It is estimated that 30 to 50% of people do not have an “inner voice.” Those without verbal thoughts may think abstractly or use visual imagery instead. To learn more, read an excellent article from Health Line that dives much more deeply. Click the link to explore this more.
I named my inner voice Ursula.
To match the deep personal relationship that I have with my inner voice, she deserved to be characterized and named. It was a visual and relatable voice, and not by accident, since the character from The Little Mermaid, Ursula, tried to silence Ariel forever. It is not that I am the Little Mermaid, although I played this role in a dance recital once. 😊
Ursula serves a great purpose if I can keep her at bay when she engages in negative self-talk. When she does show up, and it is not often, she presents two fronts. One is where she reinforces the pride I am feeling or gives positive affirmations. The other is where she tells me I am not good enough and criticizes, undermines, or second-guesses every move I make or need to make.
My goal is not to silence Ursula but to ensure I am fully aware of when she shows up and what purpose she is serving me. I realize that the negative voice is not healthy, though I will give credit where credit is due, that she is there to protect me and save me from myself. The harsh reality, however, is that these negative beliefs, in the form of internal monologues, are limiting. I need to lean into Ursula, validate and appreciate the belief system she is trying to reinforce, and then give way to challenging the beliefs and shift toward the art of possibilities.
Acknowledge the voice and reframe.
Apply positive reinforcement to shift the dialogue. Ask myself, what is the worst thing that can happen? Who can I call to talk through this and get out of my own way? Leverage affirmations to confirm with me that I am worthy. I can make a difference. I have wisdom worth sharing.
Mastering the art of regulating and refining our inner voice becomes imperative for effective leadership. By skillfully channeling this internal dialogue, we can propel ourselves toward success. This is a lesson I should have applied 90 days ago. Better late than never. 😊
If you, too, have limiting beliefs or have your own version of Ursula, here are some tips to help you respect her presence while managing the limiting beliefs she might present:
Nurturing Self Awareness
The first step in managing our inner voice is to become aware of it. We should pay attention to the thoughts and convictions coursing through our minds throughout the day. It is paramount to discern whether this voice fosters empowerment or imposes limitations. By recognizing patterns in our inner dialogue, we can begin to understand how it impacts our behaviours as leaders.
Interrogating Limiting Convictions
As a coach, I have encountered numerous leaders grappling with self-doubt and imposter syndrome fueled by negative self-talk. I, too, confront such challenges from time to time. When we notice ourselves engaging in self-critical or defeatist thoughts, it is important to challenge them. We should ask ourselves if these convictions are based on facts or simply assumptions. Substituting negative self-talk with affirmations and positive reflections on our strengths and achievements is imperative.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques, including meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help us quiet our inner voice and focus on the present moment. By nurturing mindfulness, we create space between our thoughts and reactions, enhancing our capacity to respond to circumstances with greater clarity and composure.
Seeking Support
Reach out for support from friends, mentors, coaches, confidants, or companions. Engaging in dialogue concerning our inner voice with others can provide valuable perspective and guidance. Often, the simple act of vocalizing our thoughts and feelings can help alleviate the power our inner voice has over us. Thank you to my friend Pam Ross for helping me get out of my way.
Practice Self-Compassion
Leadership is a journey filled with difficulties, successes, and failures. Being kind to ourselves during the inevitable moments of difficulty and self-doubt can serve us well. Affording ourselves the same measure of compassion and empathy we would extend to a valued team member or friend confronting similar challenges proves helpful.
Engaging in Reflection and Learning
Consistently reflecting on our leadership journey and interacting with our inner thoughts demands thoughtful dedication. What recurrent themes emerge from our introspection? What valuable lessons can we extract? Leveraging these moments of reflection to drive personal growth and ongoing improvement of our internal dialogue embodies wise leadership.
Presetting Intentions
Before entering a challenging situation or arriving at pivotal decisions, we can set clear intentions for governing our conduct and how we want to show up as leaders. We can visualize ourselves embodying qualities. In my case, for the above, it was confidence, wisdom, and the purpose of my work. By anchoring ourselves in these intentions, we can align our inner voice with our desired leadership outcomes.
In conclusion, when we master the art of managing our inner voice, we can unlock our full potential as leaders.
By embracing self-awareness, interrogating limiting convictions, and nurturing mindfulness, we foster the ability to tap into the hidden power within ourselves.
With practice and perseverance, we can transform our inner dialogue from a barrier to a catalyst for growth and success.
In what ways has your internal dialogue supported or hindered you?
