As a leadership coach and HR consultant, I spend my days guiding individuals and organizations toward achieving their fullest potential. Yet, even the most seasoned professionals face challenges that test their strength and resolve. Recently, my husband and I have been grappling with profound personal issues involving a close family member who is battling addiction and mental health struggles. This has been the most daunting journey of our lives, often leaving us feeling utterly helpless. Despite the turmoil, we have discovered that the power of positivity can be a guiding light through even the darkest times.
The Power of Positivity During Adversity
Positivity is not about ignoring challenges or pretending that everything is okay when it is not. Instead, it is about acknowledging the difficulties while focusing on hope, growth, and recovery possibilities. Here are a few principles we have embraced to maintain positivity during these challenging times:
1. Focus on Small Wins
In my professional life, I often emphasize the importance of celebrating small victories. This principle is equally vital in personal struggles. Progress is not always linear with our loved ones, but every positive step is a victory, no matter how small. Whether it is a day without substance use, a day without aggression, a successful therapy session, or a meaningful conversation, acknowledging these moments helps sustain hope and momentum.
2. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude has been a cornerstone of our journey. Each day, my husband and I consciously try to identify and appreciate the positives, however minor they may seem. This could be the support of a loving friend, a beautiful sunrise, or a moment of laughter. Gratitude redirects our attention from what we lack to what we have, cultivating a mindset of abundance and resilience. It’s super helpful for us right now!
3. Lean on Your Support Network
In the business world, we understand the significance of a strong support system. Folks we lean on for wisdom, encouragement, advice, and support. Personally, we have found solace in leaning on our network of family, friends, and professional colleagues. Their support, advice, and simply being there have provided immense strength. We recognized that seeking support was a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. The kindness and encouragement provided by so many incredible humans have been a beacon of hope.
4. Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
As parents and professionals, it is easy to neglect self-care amidst the chaos. However, taking care of ‘us’ is crucial. Whether through time away with friends, exercise, meditation, hobbies or simply taking a break, self-care replenishes our energy and equips us to support our loved ones better.
5. Believe in the Power of Professional Help
In my career, I have seen the transformative impact of professional coaching and counseling. This belief extends to personal life as well. Engaging with mental health professionals for both our loved one and ourselves has been invaluable. We were and continue to navigate unchartered waters. Therapy provides tools to cope, heal, and rebuild, and it was crucial to embrace this resource.
6. Embracing Vulnerability and Overcoming Shame
Our journey has not only been one of external battles but also of internal struggles. We have felt vulnerable and experienced profound shame. It is natural to feel responsible for our loved one’s struggles, to question our actions, and to wonder if we could have done more. Overcoming this obstacle has required a significant shift in mindset.
- Acknowledging Vulnerability Acknowledging our vulnerability has been a critical step. It is okay to feel scared, helpless, and uncertain. Accepting these feelings instead of pushing them away has allowed us to confront them head-on and seek the support we need.
- Letting Go of Shame Shame thrives in secrecy. We have diminished shame’s power when we lean into courage and open up about our struggles. Speaking with trusted friends, family, and professionals has provided us with new perspectives and alleviated the burden of isolation. Remember, you are not alone in your journey, or at least you do not have to be.
- Shifting Mindset Shifting our mindset from self-blame to self-compassion has been transformative. We remind ourselves daily that addiction and mental health issues are complex and multifaceted. Blaming ourselves serves no purpose; instead, we focus on what we can do now to support our loved one and ourselves.
It took us the entire month of December to unpack our vulnerability, let go of shame, and shift our mindset. We resolve that giving ourselves grace and permission to question everything is not destructive but rather the process we both must go through to get where we are today. Make no mistake, there are still moments and full days where this shame surfaces, but with careful nudges to and from my husband, we can move out of shame rather quickly.
Translating Positivity into Leadership
The lessons from our personal lives have profound implications for our professional role. The nexus for me, after careful reflection, reinforces the appreciation I have for the human side of leadership.
Here is how I have been reinforcing and integrating these insights:
Empathy and Compassion
Understanding that everyone has their battles has made me a more empathetic leader. I encourage clients to create work environments where people feel seen, heard, and supported.
Resilience Training
As a certified Resilience Practitioner, I incorporate resilience-building strategies in my coaching sessions, helping leaders and teams to navigate stress and adversity with a positive outlook.
Creating a Supportive Culture
We emphasize the importance of mental health and well-being in the workplace, encourage open conversations, and provide access to resources and support.
My Commitment to Positivity
While the road ahead remains uncertain, our commitment to positivity is unwavering. For anyone facing similar struggles, I encourage you to hold onto hope, seek out the positives, and remember that you are not alone. Together, we can navigate these challenges with grace and resilience.
Let us remind ourselves that the power of positivity is not denying reality but courageously choosing to face it with hope and strength. This journey has taught me and my husband that even during overwhelming challenges, there are moments of light and opportunities for growth. As both a parent and a professional, I am committed to harnessing this power, and I invite you to do the same.
By sharing our personal struggles and the ways we cope, we help ourselves and inspire and support others facing similar battles. Let us continue to lead with empathy, compassion, and a steadfast belief in the power of positivity.
Stay strong, stay hopeful, and most importantly, stay positive.