Emotions play a significant role in responding to challenges, conflicts, and changes in our professional and personal lives. Whether navigating difficult conversations at work, dealing with unexpected feedback, or reacting to political news—especially in light of the upcoming U.S. election—our emotional triggers can lead us down reactive paths if left unchecked.
As we head into this election season, many of us will likely feel triggered by political discussions or viewpoints that clash with our values. This is a perfect example of how emotional triggers can spill over into our personal lives and the workplace. The divide in political opinions can easily cause friction in casual conversations with colleagues or even lead to heightened tensions in professional settings. Regulating these emotional responses is essential for maintaining focus, clarity, and emotional balance.
Emotional Triggers and the Workplace
In the workplace, emotions often arise when our core values are challenged or when we encounter a perceived threat to our autonomy, status, or sense of fairness. According to the SCARF model by David Rock, these five domains—Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness—can trigger threat or reward responses in our brain, much like they do in political discourse. For example, suppose a manager’s feedback feels unfair. In that case, it can ignite an emotional response rooted in a perceived threat to fairness or autonomy, like how we might feel triggered by a political viewpoint.
Understanding these triggers in both settings—whether sparked by a colleague or a news headline—can help us respond more thoughtfully rather than impulsively. I believe that when we are emotionally triggered, it is often because a “values rub” is at play. Something we deeply care about is being threatened, and we react accordingly. You can click the link to learn more about the SCARF Model.
Acknowledging Our Humanity and Giving Space to Our Emotions
It is important to remember that we are all human, and experiencing a wide range of emotions is natural. When we feel triggered or overwhelmed, it is easy to fall into the trap of suppressing or dismissing our feelings, thinking they are inconvenient or unhelpful. But the truth is, emotions are there to tell us something valuable about our internal state and what matters most to us. Feel the feels. Ignoring or pushing them away only intensifies their impact, often leading to more significant stress or conflict down the road. Instead, we need to give our emotions the attention they deserve—recognize them, sit with them, and understand why they have surfaced. By valuing and validating our feelings, we create the space necessary to manage them effectively and respond with greater clarity and intention.
The Importance of Defining Your Values
To manage emotional triggers effectively, it is crucial first to understand what is driving them. That is where defining your values comes into play. Knowing what truly matters to you makes it easier to identify why certain situations trigger strong emotional responses. For instance, if one of your core values is fairness, witnessing injustice in the workplace or during an election might evoke anger or frustration.
I have used a great tool in my coaching practice that helps leaders and individuals define their values. I encourage you to explore this exercise as part of your emotional regulation journey. By clarifying your values, you create a solid foundation that helps you navigate emotionally charged situations with greater awareness and control. The image is below; you can click the link to access the PDF document.
Introducing the Emotion Wheel
Labeling emotions is one of the most powerful tools for regulating them. This is where the emotion wheel comes in. We often experience a general sense of frustration, anger, or sadness without truly understanding the depth or nuance of our feelings. The emotion wheel allows us to break down our emotions into more specific categories, making it easier to pinpoint exactly what we are experiencing.
How to Use the Emotion Wheel to Label Your Emotions:
- Pause and Reflect Before reaching for the emotion wheel, take a moment to pause and reflect on what you are feeling. Notice any physical sensations, thoughts, or reactions that may indicate an emotional response. This pause helps create the mental space needed to assess your feelings objectively.
- Start with the Core Emotion Begin by identifying one of the core emotions in the center of the wheel. These are typically broad categories like angry, disgust, sad, happy, surprise, bad, or fearful. Ask yourself – “What is the most dominant emotion I’m experiencing right now?”
- Move Outward to Refine Once you have pinpointed a core emotion, move outward to the next ring, which provides more specific variations of the core emotion. For instance, if you have identified “angry,” the next ring might break it down into more nuanced feelings like “frustration” or “disappointment.”
- Find the Exact Emotion Continue moving outward to the outermost ring, which provides even more detailed labels. For example, if you start with “anger” and refine it to “frustration,” the outer ring may include emotions like “annoyed” or “disrespected.” Choose the word that best describes your experience.
- Validate and Reflect Once you have labeled your emotion, take a moment to reflect on it. Does this word truly capture what you are feeling? If it resonates, acknowledge and validate it. It is a way of telling yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way.”
- Explore the Source Now that you have identified the emotion, consider what might have triggered it. Is it a clash with one of your values, a reaction to a specific event, or a response to a SCARF domain being threatened? Understanding the source helps you manage the emotion more effectively.
- Use the Label to Reappraise You can now reappraise the situation with the labeled emotion in mind. Knowing precisely what you are feeling allows you to ask questions like, “Is my response proportionate to the trigger?” or “How can I address this feeling constructively?”
Example in Action
Imagine you are feeling upset after a difficult conversation with a colleague. You reach for the emotion wheel and identify “anger” as the core emotion. Moving outward, you refine it to “frustration” and finally land on “disrespected” as the specific feeling. Now, you can explore why you felt disrespected—perhaps your value of respect or fairness was challenged. This awareness allows you to address the situation calmly and assertively rather than reacting impulsively.
Using the emotion wheel helps transform vague, overwhelming feelings into manageable, specific ones you can understand and work through. It is about making the invisible visible, empowering you to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.
How to Regulate Your Emotions in 3 Steps
Whether you are reacting to an intense workplace situation or a personal debate about the election, these three steps can help you regulate your emotional responses and bring clarity:
- Respect the Emotion
- Emotions are signals, not threats.
- Rather than dismissing them or reacting impulsively, acknowledge your feelings.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What value is being challenged?
- Which SCARF domain is under threat?
- Recognizing this can help you slow down and handle the situation more.
- Label the Emotion
- Use the emotion wheel to identify the exact feeling you are experiencing.
- Is it anger? Frustration? Fear? Uncertainty?
- The process of labeling gives you distance from the emotion and allows you to understand it better.
- Reappraise the Situation
- Once you have respected and labeled the emotion, you can begin to reappraise the situation.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- How can I view this more constructively?
- What is within my control, and how can I shift my perspective to move forward rather than stay stuck in a reactionary state?
By following these steps, we shift from reacting emotionally to responding thoughtfully, whether discussing politics or handling workplace conflicts.
Applying Emotion Regulation to the Workplace and Beyond
Mastering emotional regulation is a vital skill for leadership in the workplace. Leaders who regulate their emotions effectively set the tone for their teams, demonstrating resilience and balance even in the face of conflict or challenge. This skill is equally important in our personal lives, where emotional triggers—like those sparked by political disagreements or family members —can erode relationships if not managed.
Emotional regulation is a skill that takes practice, both in the workplace and in our personal lives. As we approach emotionally charged moments—the upcoming election or a challenging work situation, I encourage you to start by defining your values and exploring what drives your emotional responses. Download this blog’s values tool and emotion wheel as your starting point.
Next time you feel triggered, respect, and label your emotions, and reappraise the situation to shift into a growth-oriented mindset. By taking these steps, you can lead yourself and others toward a more balanced, thoughtful approach to handling life’s challenges.
By integrating these tools, the values definition exercise, the SCARF model, and the emotion wheel, you can better understand yourself, your emotional responses, and how to shift into a “toward” state of action and growth. This is not about avoiding difficult emotions but learning how to respect and navigate them in a way that fosters personal and professional development.
